Getting Ready for Summer

Summer. It's all I can think about. The air is so hot that a cool breeze feels amazing when it kisses your face. Festivals and trips are abundant. Friends are happy & smiling; we all laugh & laugh & dance the nights away. Summer days are spent by the pool working on my tan. Summer runs in the morning around the lake to wake me up... ahhh blissful summer. Redoing all this again & again & again.

The pool is the place to be this summer.
I can't wait until I get to see everybody in their swimsuit especially. I love seeing other girls who look like they could be my thinspo... but then there are those whom I would rather die than trade bodies with.

My official summer starts May 1st when the spring semester at my college is finished. So that leaves me the rest of March & April to prepare. After all, you've GOT to be prepared for a crazy summer like this one. I know it's going to be one of the best summer's I've ever had. So I MUST look my very best. Tan. Skinny. Boho. Hair. Skin. Muscles. Bones. Lovely. :)


Girl Scout cookies came at the wrong time this year. My mother dropped off a few boxes to me. Thanks-a-lots are my weakness. Fortunately (or UN-fortunately whichever way you look at it) they are all gone now.

I have two months to get there. Two months to skinny. Two months to hipbones. I can do this. When I burst out on the scene ~ I will be a new & improved person.

How are you all preparing for summer?

Random Thoughts

My diet isn't going quite as well as I hoped... I am still slave to my cravings. Slowly but surely I am removing foods from my intake. Regular soda is gone. Cookies are gone.

Oh the bright side I am down to 110. Soon to be 109... that would be two pounds less than on my driver's license & I lied when it was made! :)

I have made some observations about my yo-yo dieting:
- Drugs are a live saver. Whether it be Adderall or coke or any other type of stimulant or upper, my appetite is virtually gone.
- I need to keep busy. If I stop going for just one teensy-tiny minute, I am obsessing about food and hunger.
- Shopping is an addiction. I spent $60 today on things I didn't need simply so I would be shopping & not eating.

Also I quit my job at the restaurant. I am planning to find another job that has less calories. Hopefully something somewhat freelance that doesn't take up all my time.

Anyways, sorry for the "random thoughts" post ~ I'm just gonna keep posting whatever pops into my head! (To keep me busy you see.)


Stay thin ladies! XoXo
p.s. I LOVE THINSPO!!!!!!!!!

2 Day Cleanse

My 2 day cleanse went well.

1st day's intake:
1 Vanilla SlimFast ~ 180
2 Chicken McNuggets ~ 96
+ Diet Pepsi, Green Tea, & WATER
TOTAL: 276


2nd day's intake:
1 Strawberry Pop Tart ~ 200
1 'Blue Machine' Naked Smoothie ~ 319
+ Diet Coke, WATER
TOTAL: 519

I'm pretty proud of myself considering it's been a while since I've stayed under 800 calories! My addy's are suppressing any appetite that I might've had. Classes have started up this semester & I'm concentrating hard on them - I'm aiming for all A's. If I have any cravings I'm going to do homework, homework, homework & then some to take my mind off of food. Also I'm going to drink 2 water bottles per class. YUMMY Crystal Light packets - I can sip on those all day!


Did anyone see the Megan Fox bikini pictures? I randomly came across them. This is what made me want to start restricting again - she looks AMAZING! My goal is to have a waist and abs like Megan by swimsuit season... except with less boobs & more BONES!

I wish it was summer already! It's terribly cold here now. The mornings are brutal getting out of my perfectly warm, comfy bed. I've been shivering all day, & I can't tell if it's because the entire room is cold or if it's just me. Well I might as well get used to it since I'm going to be losing all my extra PADDING! ;)

X0X0

New year, new life, new body, new ME!

A lot has happened since I was last posting on my blog..

I started discovering (good) music, especially in my hometown Omaha. I've attended countless shows and festivals around the country. I also started hula-hooping! It's amazingly fun and a fantastic workout. I even performed a few times - and with FIRE! I've made new lifetime friends and had the time of my life. Between the constant drug use, dancing, and partying, I've hardly had to worry about my weight and size. However, now that Winter is here, I've packed on the pounds and people are definitely noticing...

"You look soooo much healthier!"
"I'm glad to see you're putting some meat on your bones."
and the kicker... "You used to be so skinny."

I know these comments are supposed to be compliments. But that doesn't lessen the sting of those words.


So as the new year rolls on through, I've decided to start restricting and dieting again. The book, Look Better Naked, also made me want to restrict again - the covergirl is perfectly thin and at the same time, also looks a little like me... except... better. She's much better. She looks confident in her own skin (she is posing almost nude in all the photos!), she probably likes the way she looks. She eats healthier than me and exercises more. She what I want to be.



To kick-start my weight loss, and my quest back to thinness, I am going to do a 2-day cleanse. Here's the plan:

- Only liquids.
- Under 400 calories per day.
- 1 SlimFast Vanilla per day.
- Absolutely, positively NO SLIP-UPS

The last part is extremely important for me. 99% of the time, my weight gain is binges and junk food.


Wish me luck ladies, XoXo